On Things I Won't Forget

March 27, 2020

What I Already Miss

Lazy Saturdays at coffee shops
Dining in at restaurants
Window shopping
Hugs. Won’t it be wild when we can touch each other again?
Dropping by… anything
Concerts and live shows
Dinner parties
Strong federal leadership

What I Don’t Miss

Traffic
Long lines
Indecision
Arrogance

What I Won’t Miss

Panic buying
Hoarding
Uncertainty
Hysteria
Misinformation
Over-scheduling
The worst of humanity
Greed
The jarring sensation of seeing a tightly packed group of people in pre-C19 photos, movies, and shows

What I Won’t Forget

Always having a little extra on hand: toilet paper, home cooked meals, a kind word, patience
How quickly people stepped up in the absence of leadership
Medical professionals becoming soldiers in wartime
Small kindnesses — a small wave from a neighbor, a socially distant smile in the grocery store aisle
Washing hands for 20 seconds, paying extra attention to fingertips, nooks and crannies, and the backs of hands.
The simple power of soap
Cuddling with my dog isn’t just a luxury — it’s downright essential
Gratitude. Today, it’s perfectly-cooked-can-see-every-grain rice; new orders from customers; hot water dispensers; bananas; Snoh Aalegra’s “I want you around”
Lulls and downtime
The joy of reading
Humility

Inspired by MR: “What I won’t forget: That New York is New Yorkers and nothing else.”

We’re always in need of a little perspective. Pause to have a little cry.

“How are you doing?” “Maintaining” Running out of ways to respond to “How are you”? I’ve got you.

Lazy dinner ideas. Just because you’re doing a lot of home cooking doesn’t mean every meal has to be James Beard-worthy. Some of my go-tos: kimchi fried rice; tamago scrambled eggs; ANY KIND OF TOAST; cheese and crackers a la Lunchables; cacio e pepe pasta, tinned sardines with a little mayo and diced pickles; omelets

Just learned that Dalgona coffee is a thing.

You can color the NYTimes now.

Reminder that Netflix Party is a Chrome extension that lets you watch Netflix and chat with your friends.

“Human life has always been lived on the edge of a precipice. Human culture has always had to exist under the shadow of something infinitely more important than itself. If men had postponed the search for knowledge and beauty until they were secure, the search would have never begun. We are mistaken when we compare war with “normal life.” Life has never been normal.” - C.S. Lewis, in a speech to Oxford students in 1939.

Nothing to see here.

Jenny Rosentrach’s Project, Pantry, Purpose series is wonderful.

Despite there being so many cancelled events, there’s still a lot to do. The world continues to be our oyster.

Don’t forget to complete the US Census. Everyone deserves to be counted.

On Denial

March 25, 2020

Is it still considered denial or ignorance if you have accepted the reality of the situation but choose to opt out of it for your own self-preservation? I have always prided myself on being a practical person, and staying on top of E V E R Y update doesn’t seem very productive. So I give myself 30 minutes on Twitter, NPR, and the NY Times in the morning to get the latest and then try to move on with my day.

It’s not a perfect system — my brain will continue to weave in and out of anxiety throughout the day — but it works for me. I hope that wherever you are, you’re hanging in there and if any of my silly thoughts or copied and pasted links can help you escape a little, then I’ve done my job.

I received pasta attachments for my Kitchenaid stand mixer as a birthday present, so I plan on using this dough recipe to make agnolotti filled with with butternut squash and ricotta. Wish me luck!

I’ll start with that and then maybe one day I’ll work up the nerve to make my own ramen noodles from scratch.

Honest to god, I thought it was common knowledge that graham crackers were invented by a guy to deter people from having sex. I am sorry to all my friends in the group chat for scandalizing them.

Stay far away from Twitter if you can, but if you must be on it, I recommend spending all of your time with @BootstrapCook, whose #JackMonroesLockdownLarder is filled with ingenious ingredient substitutes and recipes.

“Thanks, but not for me right now.” You don’t have to join every Zoom meeting or take every phone call. (Though obviously if it’s for work, you should!)

Danusha Laméris, poetess divine, your timeless poem is never not relevant:

Small Kindnesses by Danusha Laméris
I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk
down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs to let you by.
Or how strangers still say “bless you”
when someone sneezes, a leftover
from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.
And sometimes, when you spill lemons
from your grocery bag, someone else will help you
pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other.
We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot,
and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile
at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress
to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder,
and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass.
We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here,
have my seat,” “Go ahead — you first,” “I like your hat.”

Speaking of kindness to each other, don’t forget about being kind to yourself. It may feel like your worries pale in comparison to what others are having to deal with, but they are still valid. Give yourself time to sit with those feelings. Let them wash over you and then carry on when you are ready.

Also you’re welcome:

“Can’t spell quarantine without u r a q t.” - M’s entry to the Dad Jokes Hall of Fame for your consideration.

On What a Time To Be Alive

March 24, 2020

Today I turn 31 during one of the most surreal events I’ve ever experienced, despite having lived through 9/11 and a deep recession. But life goes on.

Here’s a list of things I’m grateful for, in no particular order:

Languid dinners with my mom
Crying tears of laughter and sadness with my friends
The way Scotty sighs contentedly when he rests his head on my chest
Dad jokes from M: “What do Korean kids say instead of ‘yes dad’? K Pop”
House that smells like butter
Butter
London Philharmonic plays Rodgers & Hamerstein
Turkey Hill lemonade tea
People who are pretending as if they have the virus and staying inside and away from others. Disasters and crises have a way of bringing out the best in people.
Medical professionals who live up to their hippocratic oath despite dwindling PPE gear and resources. Here are some ways you can help.
Grocery store and pharmacy staff members
Delivery and mail people
Books
Libraries
Freshly baked bread
Bar Keeper’s Friend (if you know, you know)
John Mulaney
Handwritten letters
Dresses and skirts with pockets
That feeling when you wake up and realize it’s a Saturday
The pleasure of doing nothing

I read about a method to help you get back to the present moment:

Sit quietly and look around you for 5 things you can see and identify
Now identify 4 things you can hear
3 things you can feel
2 things you can smell
And 1 thing you can taste

Did it work?

On 5 Things

August 30, 2019

People Say Gullah Geechee Culture is Disappearing. BJ Dennis Says They’re Wrong both moved me and made my mouth water. I wanted to write a thoughtful response about how food is more than just sustenance (I’m glaring at you, Soylent drinkers) and how each bite is filled with history. But language fails me here. Words just pale in comparison to the explosion of flavors — lovingly coaxed out of freshly caught seafood and locally farmed produce — developed by a culture that withstood centuries of pain to pass their history down generations.*

The San Francisco Chronicle published a multimedia essay on 24 hours inside the city’s homelessness crisis as part of the SF Homeless Project and included a detailed Q&A section (covering questions like SF numbers are particularly high, where does all the funding go, etc). It’s easy to complain that the city isn’t doing enough to solve the problem (I’ve definitely been guilty of this when I was living there), but there are bigger issues at play and the city is working on it.

This poem by Wendell Berry called “Questionaire” (C/O Kottke):

1. How much poison are you willing
to eat for the success of the free
market and global trade? Please
name your preferred poisons.
2. For the sake of goodness, how much
evil are you willing to do?
Fill in the following blanks
with the names of your favorite evils
and acts of hatred.
3. What sacrifices are you prepared
to make for the culture and civilization?
Please list the monuments, shrines,
and works of art you would
most willingly destroy.
4. In the name of patriotism and
the flag, how much of our beloved
land are you willing to desecrate?
List in the following spaces
the mountains, rivers, towns, farms
you could most readily do without.
5. State briefly the ideas, ideals, or hopes,
the energy sources, the kinds of security,
for which you would kill a child.
Name, please, the children whom
you would be willing to kill.

And this one that Stacy-Marie Ishmael included in her latest newsletter (definitely recommend subscribing!):

“Demeter’s Prayer to Hades” by Rita Dove
This alone is what I wish for you: knowledge.
To understand each desire has an edge,
to know we are responsible for the lives
we change. No faith comes without cost,
no one believes without dying.
Now for the first time
I see clearly the trail you planted,
what ground opened to waste,
though you dreamed a wealth
of flowers.
There are no curses — only mirrors
held up to the souls of gods and mortals.
And so I give up this fate, too.
Believe in yourself,
go ahead — see where it gets you.

This truly delightful interview Rob Sheffield did on Harry Styles. Eternal sunshine indeed.

*If you’re in Atlanta and craving Gullah Geechee, I recommend Virgil’s Gullah Kitchen in College Park. Get the Shawk Bites, Shrimp & Crab Gravy Rice, and Chucktown Chewie Sundae.

P.S. Pour yourself a glass of wine and read CJ Hauser’s “The Crane Wife”. It’ll break your heart and put it all back together again.

On the Little Things

June 4, 2019

Quote of the day:

Activism is my rent for living on the planet.

— Alice Walker

Someone made a $5 ACLU-donation Dash button you can press every time Trump makes you angry. Brilliant.

As if you needed more evidence on how diversity is better for the world, here's a letter from director Martin Scorsese on how "diversity guarantees our cultural survival" and the Scientific American on how diversity makes us smarter.

This Instagram account of 100 postcards for the first 100 days of the administration. As the bio says, they're "Always respectful, mostly disagreeable." And entertaining, too.

When you start to feel like everything is out of control, here's a reminder of what you do have control over:

I'm in love with these pins by Adam J. Kurtz and Emily McDowell.

Indecisive spinner pin by Adam J. Kurtz

Everyday bravery pins by Emily McDowell

My friend Shannon and I started a cooking club where we go to each other's houses once a month and cook. Last month we made Nigella Lawson's lemon polenta cake and short rib burgers. It's my turn to pick the recipes for this month, but there's so many to choose from:

Savory miso oatmeal